She Made Her Choice
by articcat621
Summary: A fight with James leads to Lily making a mistake.


Notes: Not beta'd. Written for the hp_unfaithful Valentine's Day Comment Fest.

Warnings: Angst, Infidelity, Unplanned Pregnancy.

Disclaimer: JKR owns the world and characters of Harry Potter, not me. I'm not making any money from the posting of this story.

* * *

 _She Made Her Choice_

"I just don't understand why you still talk to that snake," James said, giving Lily a disgusted look. "He called you a Mudblood."

Lily flinched at James's careless use of the word. "Yes, I know Severus did, but he's apologised. I've forgiven him, James."

"Why?" James pressed angrily, his hands clenching into fists at his side. "You know what he is."

"We don't know for sure!" Lily retorted, but even as she said the words, she knew they weren't true. Severus was a Death Eater. She knew it 100% in her heart, but that didn't mean that she didn't wish it was different. Perhaps it wasn't too late to talk Severus out of it? Maybe he could give them inside information? She was sure that Dumbledore would offer him protection in exchange for information.

"Don't talk to him anymore, Lily," James told her sternly. "He's lower than dirt. He's probably killed people."

"Stop it!" Lily said angrily, feeling tears prick the corners of her eyes. "James, you're being an arse right now, and you need to stop."

"Then you stop," James pressed. "Please, just get Snivellus out of your mind."

"Don't call him that!" Lily exclaimed angrily, unable to take it any longer. "James, you're being ridiculous, and to be honest, I don't quite like you telling me what to do." She glared at him. "I'm leaving." She summoned her robes and slipped them on. "I'll be back when I'm ready."

James deflated almost instantly. He was at her side, pulling her into an embrace. "I love you, Lils. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to anger you."

Lily pushed away from him. "I love you too, James, but I just can't be around you right now. Not if you'll so blatantly disrespect Severus to me."

"Where are you going?" James asked, following her to the living room.

"Marlene's? My parents? Who knows, but don't look for me," Lily said, her emerald eyes burning. "Goodnight, James." She disappeared with a crack.

James summoned his bottle of Firewhisky. "Happy fucking Valentine's day," he said to himself, uncorking the bottle and taking a swig.

* * *

Lily glanced at the old home in front of her. She hadn't meant to come here, but she supposed that she was thinking of Severus before she Disapparated. With a sigh, she decided that she would see if he was home. No harm in that, right?

Walking up to the door, Lily tentatively knocked. The door swung open, revealing a suspicious Severus with his wand at the ready. A complete look of shock appeared on his face. "Lily?" he whispered, as if he didn't believe she was in front of him.

"Sev," she whispered, frustration and longing built up within her. Without thinking, she threw herself at Severus, her body colliding into his as her lips found his own. She kissed him passionately, her body grinding against his wantonly.

"Lily, stop, this isn't like you," Severus said, pulling away. He peered into her green eyes. "Are you cursed or something?"

"Cursed? What, no," Lily quickly said, shaking her head. "I just… I need to forget it all, Sev, please." She looked at him, begging with her eyes. "Help me forget."

Severus succumbed to her charm, leading her towards his bedroom where he spent the rest of the night helping Lily forget all about James, Death Eaters, and the war.

* * *

Lily groggily opened her eyes the next morning. She smiled softly when she saw Severus lying next to her, still asleep. Last night had been incredible, but she knew that it wouldn't last. Her heart ached with her betrayal.

Quietly, she slipped out of the bed and dressed. Giving Severus one last glance, she exited his bedroom. She knew there would be no coming back from this.

She had used Severus, plain and simple. While she loved him in a way, she didn't love him like she knew he loved her. Merlin, she felt disgusted for taking advantage of his feelings like she did.

Swallowing her guilt, she Disapparated back to her flat that she shared with James.

* * *

Four weeks later, Lily stared at the Muggle pregnancy stick in her hand. Her hands trembled in disbelief… How could she have been so foolish? What in Merlin's name was she going to do?

Tears spilt down her cheeks as she thought about telling James. She couldn't tell him the truth… She couldn't.

A part of her hoped that the baby was James's, but she knew it wasn't. Lily knew deep down that her baby was Severus's. In her carelessness to forget, she had accidentally created a life.

How could she have done such a thing? How could she bring a child into a war-torn world like this?

Covering her mouth, Lily tried to stop the tears. After collecting herself, she knew there was only one choice: she would pass the baby off as James.

Her child would be a Potter.


End file.
